Parody or Reality

author: unknown

format: email

purpose: laugh

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment.



This is indeed a very exciting program:

Q. What is an ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?

A. […].



Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri-Lanka.

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China.

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.



Instead, keep the money in America by:

* Spending it at yard sales

* Going to ball games

* Spending it on prostitutes

* Beer

* Tattoos

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)



Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!

14 Days of Summer

"fourteen days of summer" has a special meaning to my round receptors of incredulous dexterity. Maybe it's because I can't find myself spending some time on the sandy beaches of ... well of any place really. It could be the ocean (pretty darn far away, by car) or it could be by the lake M (eh, that's M for Michigan; of course it could be S for Superior, but I'm not canadian, not that's anything wrong with that all together).

My only summer break was encrypted with heartaches and everlasting never-ending rain. Now, my school is literally killing me. Thank moses for my mac, for I would not have survived thus far and watched my sanity break into thousand pieces.

Who’s moses, you ask? Don’t really know. I hear people speak of this dude who ... well, I pretty much forgot who did what. [...]Of course i know who El-Mosesso is! An old man. Loved to share his love to others. Sacrificed a lot. Died young. The truth is, I am re-teaching my brain to stop hinting that God is god because we always refer to it, you know, for God's sake. It's just me, doing things, trying to see how does it sound if I substitute known names in known expressions with totally different things. The funny thing is, the brain stumbles. It's my way of keeping it from running to a complete stop. You? How do you keep your mind active, besides reading this little note?

Student Culture

There’s more to the phrase "Stay in school for as long as you can." What are the sacrifices students make on a daily basis just to earn the name of students? Such sacrifices often involve the use of money, time, and social relations. Of course, studying should be our main priority. But for those who attend schools and work on the side, the life of student blurs in with the one of a worker, a family man, a friend and of a lover. It sounds more and more with the life of an adult who is completing a continuing education course. And this is where financial institutions come in and make a fortune on the backs of poor students who have no choice but to make that student loan. The hardest thing that becomes is for the student to stay focused and finish what was once started. It would only be beneficial for students to finish college and successfully attend the job of their dreams, or at least, the job that puts them in more financial control then their parents were. Consequently, paying off the student loan debt, which by cultural standards would become almost suffocating for an average student alone, should be their (our) number one priority following school graduation. But what happens with those who want to attend graduate school after their undergrad courses completed? That is a troublesome question. Because time is unforgiving as always. Looking at this situation from a very harsh abstraction point of view, a student’s life is in constant race against time.